A friend of mine called me this week. I’ve coached him on and off throughout the last couple of years. We talked for about an hour sharing stories about our families, our work, and our journey. He and his family have encountered some hard times during the recession and he’s still struggling. But the tone in his voice was noticeably different from many of our discussions. In the past, any time trouble would come up he would fall into a state of panic, and do something rash. Many of his decisions then became attempts to relieve his suffering, rather than logical choices.
We talked a little about what had changed. And he said, “I’ve learned that I will make it through through the suffering. I have hope.” I smiled when he said that. Isn’t that what were all looking for? We’re looking for hope. And hope is the realization that we can make it through. Because if were honest, we know that suffering will come. It’s part of life. But what we’re looking for is the strength and courage to make it through suffering, not to avoid it. When we try to avoid it, we usually increase the suffering by prolonging it, or making choices we’d never make. But when we face the suffering, we usually learn from it. And my friend had learned something very valuable. He was strong enough to make it through.
Before I my friend and I ended our call, he said to me, “I know I’m going to make it through. I already have and I know I will.” The sense of resolve in his voice was calm and collected. He wasn’t panicked, even though he was facing some significant issues. And I had to smile. It was nice seeing my friend reach a deeper state of peace, even in the midst of suffering.
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