Contrary to public opinion, I think the Bachelor and the Bachelorette are important shows. Seriously? You ask.
This post started because my friend Kate Murray shared her thoughts on the show. She said:
Last night I watched the Bachelorette. I never watch the Bachelorette. I don’t know what got into me, but I sat on the couch, for two hours, listening to the guys “tell all” and recount their stories from the season. Mostly I watched as they and this season’s Bachelorette, Ali, spoke of finding love and her quest to find the man of her dreams.
But as I watched, I thought about how different their experiences have been from my own – and if any relationship that begins in such a setting (not only in exotic locations, but on national TV) can survive the reality of life (most don’t – I think only two or three couples have actually made it down the aisle and are still together).
Her observations made me thing of another show I watch with my kids. It’s called Wipeout. Contestants navigate an obstacle course and get pummeled a long the way. What I’ve noticed is that the course is designed to produce moments of hilarious pummeling. In other words, its designed for the laugh, not the contestants. There are points in the course that the contestants simply can’t get by without experiencing a dramatic wipeout, hence the name.
The producers of Wipeout are smart because they pick really interesting, and rather kooky people who are willing to look silly on tv. Those willing to make fun of themselves have the chance to win 50 thousand dollars. They highlight those willing to make fun of themselves. Its no unusual for contestants to dance in costumes, shout native calls, talk about their desire for breast reduction surgery (a male), and show their ninja skills.
I’ve watched the Bachelor and the Bachelorette in the past and I can help but wonder the same thing. The show is not really designed to produce relationship. It’s designed to produce a moment where we cringe, guffaw, and laugh AT the contestants. Both shows are like a pressure cookers designed to produce cringe worthy moments where someone melts down on television. Those are the moments everyone talks about on Twitter and Facebook. “Did you see that guy last night get the tattoo for the girl. LOSER.” We’re in on the gag because we now know from the history of the show that no matter how much they think its real, it is not. No matter how much they try, there is a high degree of probability that they will not make it. In other words, the show is for our experience, not the contestants.
I think we watch because the show gives us our dream scenario. Contestants are given dream situations for their dates, romantic possibilities that only a few could experience, and are then expected to make a choice that is largely undignifying no matter how much they rationalize it. But if the dream does anything it shows that it more likely a nightmare.
