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The Search For Validation

What do you do when the thing that worked once before, no longer works?

A central part of the Adventurous Way is understanding the root problem in the self. At the root of the human condition is the drive to validate the self through human means.  We search for something to answer the underlying question.  Are we good or evil?  This question is at the center of the Garden of Eden.  It is the fundamental of all human suffering.

We see this played out over and over in human form.  This video is a short documentary on several MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) stars rise and fall from glory.  It captured my attention because it documents both the drive and the tension of that search.  It shares the brutal tension of attaining it and then losing it.  We long to get back to glory. The drive for glory is instinctive in the human condition.  Something deep within longs for validation, the applause, the roar of the crowd.  We know that the answer has to be “good”.

Yet what inevitably arises as we reach that glory, attained by our own imagination, hard work, and circumstance, is the moment of realization.  If you watch the video, at 4:13 Mirko Cro Cop, one of the best MMA fighters ever, finally gains the belt.  But instead of illumination, he is overwhelmed with sadness and emotion.  As we watch the Olympics, we seem the same thing.  In many ways, we don’t really know what to do with our moment of glory.  It captivates us as much as fulfills us.  We’ve spent so much of our lives wanting something, we’re completed unprepared for what it means to have something.

But the tension in human attained glory, is the need to hold onto that glory.  MMA provides a great moment because it has the “belt”, a symbol of validation from the world around the fighters.  And once the belt has been attained, the fighter must defend it with everything he has.  But the drive to gain the glory is different than defending the glory.  The motivation is not the same. Deep down, every fighter knows that the day WILL come when the belt will be gone.

At the end of the video, we see the upstarts take the former champions down.  The once glorious but false sense meets its end on the blood soaked canvas.  The upstarts now hold the drive to attain glory, fashioned in the fist that reigns down on the each fighters former self.

What Jesus offers in the Adventurous Way is an entirely different path, one that removes the need for attaining glory.  Instead of assuming he needed glory, Jesus assumes he already has it.  It’s not something to be grasped or manufactured.  It’s to be embraced.  Glory is nothing more than validation.  It’s the root of “good”, the words of the Father reigning down pleasure in the form of a dove.  And by assuming he already has it, he has no need to search for it.  He hasn’t attained it because of anything he’s done.  It is bestowed from above.  And what this does is frees him to be human.  It releases him for the fundamental problem of suffering.  It opens him up to be love for those around him.

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If you are looking for a deeper way of living, one unhinged from suffering, consider the Adventurous Way.

About the Author

Jonathan BrinkI am an business development and communications consultant. I am also the senior editor and publisher for Civitas Press. I recently published, Discovering The God Imagination: Reconstructing A Whole, New Christianity. (Civitas, 2011)View all posts by Jonathan Brink →

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    When I see clips like that, my first instinct is to question the motives of the spectators more than those of the fighters themselves. What makes these “bloodsports” so popular? It's like watching gladiators in the Roman Arena all over again – just that we made it more “civilized” by adding referees, ring doctors, and a fairly good chance for the gladiators to walk away alive from the fight. And what does that tell us about human nature and a seemingly innate type of hedonism that takes pleasure in seeing guys beat the shit out of each other or pleasure in gratuitous sex scenes etc.?

    Is this really all about a deeper hunger for personal validation? Or is validation itself only one of many things that simply makes us feel better in our quest for personal happiness?

    Would a fighter be content to be considered “good” or even “great” without the notion that he's not only great but THE GREATEST? In other words, is the deepest root of our suffering based in the act of desiring itself (Buddhism), in the GOAL of that desire (to be god-like in power and recognition), or in desiring something we already have (like God's validation)? And how would the answer to that question square with Jesus' call to gain our life by losing it for him (Mt. 16:25)?

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    When I see clips like that, my first instinct is to question the motives of the spectators more than those of the fighters themselves. What makes these “bloodsports” so popular? It's like watching gladiators in the Roman Arena all over again – just that we made it more “civilized” by adding referees, ring doctors, and a fairly good chance for the gladiators to walk away alive from the fight. And what does that tell us about human nature and a seemingly innate type of hedonism that takes pleasure in seeing guys beat the shit out of each other or pleasure in gratuitous sex scenes etc.?

    Is this really all about a deeper hunger for personal validation? Or is validation itself only one of many things that simply makes us feel better in our quest for personal happiness?

    Would a fighter be content to be considered “good” or even “great” without the notion that he's not only great but THE GREATEST? In other words, is the deepest root of our suffering based in the act of desiring itself (Buddhism), in the GOAL of that desire (to be god-like in power and recognition), or in desiring something we already have (like God's validation)? And how would the answer to that question square with Jesus' call to gain our life by losing it for him (Mt. 16:25)?

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    Josh, I want to hopefully shift your perspective a little.

    This post is NOT about the audience, which is an entirely different post. This is about the fighter inside the ring, who is willing to play the blood sport, although I've watched enough MMA to suggest it is hardly a blood sport anymore. No fighter has ever been killed or even seriously injured in the history of MMA.

    But lets assume your theory for a little bit. If anything it add to the quest. Grown men are willing to step into the ring at the expense of significant pain for the belt. They're willing to put it on the line for the sake of glory.

    I would also suggest that the root of suffering is blind intentionality to solve the wrong problem. As human beings we're compelling to solve it, even if it is an acceptable form such as work, beauty, social status, and even athletics in our traditional form. That's why I pointed back to the Olympics, which is more digestible.

    Pride is there because we think it works. But even though history reveals it doesn't work, we still try it.

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    Josh, I want to hopefully shift your perspective a little.

    This post is NOT about the audience, which is an entirely different post. This is about the fighter inside the ring, who is willing to play the blood sport, although I've watched enough MMA to suggest it is hardly a blood sport anymore. No fighter has ever been killed or even seriously injured in the history of MMA.

    But lets assume your theory for a little bit. If anything it add to the quest. Grown men are willing to step into the ring at the expense of significant pain for the belt. They're willing to put it on the line for the sake of glory.

    I would also suggest that the root of suffering is blind intentionality to solve the wrong problem. As human beings we're compelling to solve it, even if it is an acceptable form such as work, beauty, social status, and even athletics in our traditional form. That's why I pointed back to the Olympics, which is more digestible.

    Pride is there because we think it works. But even though history reveals it doesn't work, we still try it.

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    Oh, I know you were talking about the fighters inside the ring. At the same time you generalized their quest for glory and described it in terms of our common human condition. And the latter seems most relevant considering that very few of us would ever step into the MMA ring ourselves but – like you said – can seek the same thing by other means.

    Before I attempt a further response, I want to make sure I read you right: the wrong problem we are trying to solve is our felt lack of glory? And the reason for it being wrong is that it doesn't work? And it doesn't work because we are really searching for something which has already been placed in our lap – God's validation of us (independent of strength, beauty, accomplishments etc.)?

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    Oh, I know you were talking about the fighters inside the ring. At the same time you generalized their quest for glory and described it in terms of our common human condition. And the latter seems most relevant considering that very few of us would ever step into the MMA ring ourselves but – like you said – can seek the same thing by other means.

    Before I attempt a further response, I want to make sure I read you right: the wrong problem we are trying to solve is our felt lack of glory? And the reason for it being wrong is that it doesn't work? And it doesn't work because we are really searching for something which has already been placed in our lap – God's validation of us (independent of strength, beauty, accomplishments etc.)?

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    Josh, you hear me right.

    I generalized it because I think it mirrors the root problem. The fighter just happens to be a good example.

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    Josh, you hear me right.

    I generalized it because I think it mirrors the root problem. The fighter just happens to be a good example.

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    If that's the case then I don't understand why it would provide a definite answer to the question “Are we good or bad?” either way. (Unless I did misunderstand THAT part!).

    I think we can agree that there's nothing bad about the hunger for validation. But the way we conduct our quest (in trying pride over and over again) may be an indication that there's something wrong at the core. It's more than just ignorance. For lack of a better word, there's something “bent” – and it's bent inwardly, making ourselves the focus. I don't think the term “total depravity” is helpful (I've never been convinced by any of the Calvinist TULIP logic) but there must be a reason why Jesus spoke of us as being “evil” on the hand, yet still able to give good gifts to our children.

    Maybe the categories “good” / “evil” don't fit in this case to begin with. Taking into account Paul's use of the word “glory”, the process of restoring God's true image may be a better fit.

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    If that's the case then I don't understand why it would provide a definite answer to the question “Are we good or bad?” either way. (Unless I did misunderstand THAT part!).

    I think we can agree that there's nothing bad about the hunger for validation. But the way we conduct our quest (in trying pride over and over again) may be an indication that there's something wrong at the core. It's more than just ignorance. For lack of a better word, there's something “bent” – and it's bent inwardly, making ourselves the focus. I don't think the term “total depravity” is helpful (I've never been convinced by any of the Calvinist TULIP logic) but there must be a reason why Jesus spoke of us as being “evil” on the hand, yet still able to give good gifts to our children.

    Maybe the categories “good” / “evil” don't fit in this case to begin with. Taking into account Paul's use of the word “glory”, the process of restoring God's true image may be a better fit.

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    The search doesn't provide an answer. But we think it does. That was my point. I also hold that it is a bent and not a total depravity. There's just too much evidence to debunk total depravity.

    I'm actually releasing my first book in May that essentially answers your questions here. The image of God is our glory.

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    The search doesn't provide an answer. But we think it does. That was my point. I also hold that it is a bent and not a total depravity. There's just too much evidence to debunk total depravity.

    I'm actually releasing my first book in May that essentially answers your questions here. The image of God is our glory.

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    I guess I'll have to be patient until May. Thanks for all the responses anyway!

    Is there anyone NOT coming out with a book these days?
    :-)

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    I guess I'll have to be patient until May. Thanks for all the responses anyway!

    Is there anyone NOT coming out with a book these days?
    :-)

  • ianwillmore

    Hi, A lot was said and I don't think I am equipped to deal with all your views, but I do have an opinion on one of the points you've made.

    You asked: Would a fighter be content to be considered “good” or even “great” without the notion that he's not only great but THE GREATEST?

    In my own personal experience as a person who has started to train in MMA, and has been for about a year now, where we regularly spare and get physical, although at my level it's nothing like what the top athletes are capable of when in the ring. As I watch myself progress and get better and more technically capable, I often feel a sense of accomplishment, pride in myself for being able to test myself to my limits, and believe me when saying, they are nowhere near the limits the top fighter are capable of, but in my world for own myself awareness and personal understanding of myself it's a big deal.

    I've been a fan of the sport for years, since the early days and I got the opportunity to train and participate in the sport instead of just watching from the sideline. I decided to stop being an arm chair critic and put myself out there and see what I'm made of. It’s certainly given me a new found respect for the athletes and what they go through to get to where they are. The physical aspect of the game is one thing, but I found that the mental strain is the biggest factor in determining success. It takes self belief, without will power, perseverance and drive to work through the physical rigors of constant training to be even marginally successful at this sport, so I am very content at being mediocre at best, compared to top fighters that is, but that to me is an accomplishment. So I can quite easily see how a top 10 or even top 50 ranked fighter would be able to be at peace and content with their accomplishment if they are never considered THE GREATEST. It doesn’t mean they won’t continue to strive for it and should they get to the top rank of the sport, it’s easy to see how one would be proud and please about the accomplishment, and it’s not the accomplishment of beating another person, but one of beating one’s self. I suppose it would be better said as mastering one’s self.

    This mindset translates to any other avenue of life, whether your field is medicine, sports, academic or even religion. We all have ambitions of GREATNESS, but those, for many people are never going to translate into us becoming a pioneer of a new medical procedure, or an Olympic gold medalist but it doesn’t mean that because we are not at the top of our field we can’t be content with our accomplishments.

  • ianwillmore

    Hi, A lot was said and I don't think I am equipped to deal with all your views, but I do have an opinion on one of the points you've made.

    You asked: Would a fighter be content to be considered “good” or even “great” without the notion that he's not only great but THE GREATEST?

    In my own personal experience as a person who has started to train in MMA, and has been for about a year now, where we regularly spare and get physical, although at my level it's nothing like what the top athletes are capable of when in the ring. As I watch myself progress and get better and more technically capable, I often feel a sense of accomplishment, pride in myself for being able to test myself to my limits, and believe me when saying, they are nowhere near the limits the top fighter are capable of, but in my world for own myself awareness and personal understanding of myself it's a big deal.

    I've been a fan of the sport for years, since the early days and I got the opportunity to train and participate in the sport instead of just watching from the sideline. I decided to stop being an arm chair critic and put myself out there and see what I'm made of. It’s certainly given me a new found respect for the athletes and what they go through to get to where they are. The physical aspect of the game is one thing, but I found that the mental strain is the biggest factor in determining success. It takes self belief, without will power, perseverance and drive to work through the physical rigors of constant training to be even marginally successful at this sport, so I am very content at being mediocre at best, compared to top fighters that is, but that to me is an accomplishment. So I can quite easily see how a top 10 or even top 50 ranked fighter would be able to be at peace and content with their accomplishment if they are never considered THE GREATEST. It doesn’t mean they won’t continue to strive for it and should they get to the top rank of the sport, it’s easy to see how one would be proud and please about the accomplishment, and it’s not the accomplishment of beating another person, but one of beating one’s self. I suppose it would be better said as mastering one’s self.

    This mindset translates to any other avenue of life, whether your field is medicine, sports, academic or even religion. We all have ambitions of GREATNESS, but those, for many people are never going to translate into us becoming a pioneer of a new medical procedure, or an Olympic gold medalist but it doesn’t mean that because we are not at the top of our field we can’t be content with our accomplishments.

  • Richard

    Jonathan,

    I loved this, thanks so much!

  • Richard

    Jonathan,

    I loved this, thanks so much!

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    Ian, thanks so much for weighing in (no pun intended) on the discussion. It just shows again how wrong I can be with my assumptions by observing only and coming to certain conclusions without actually hearing from those directly involved.

    And I can certainly empathize with what you said about feeling pride and contentment for positive personal accomplishments. It's so easy (from a Christian perspective) to view pride exclusively in a negative light when reality is not that black-and-white.

    I'm still curious to hear what you would say to the question what it is we're all searching for? Is there something to it what Jonathan shared – this longing for validation? Or would you say that the search / quest is different for each person?

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    Ian, thanks so much for weighing in (no pun intended) on the discussion. It just shows again how wrong I can be with my assumptions by observing only and coming to certain conclusions without actually hearing from those directly involved.

    And I can certainly empathize with what you said about feeling pride and contentment for positive personal accomplishments. It's so easy (from a Christian perspective) to view pride exclusively in a negative light when reality is not that black-and-white.

    I'm still curious to hear what you would say to the question what it is we're all searching for? Is there something to it what Jonathan shared – this longing for validation? Or would you say that the search / quest is different for each person?

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    I think Ian has illustrated a part of why we continue with pride. instinctively we understand we're supposed to value ourselves, but the framework we use to do that sets us up for failure.

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    I think Ian has illustrated a part of why we continue with pride. instinctively we understand we're supposed to value ourselves, but the framework we use to do that sets us up for failure.

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    And what if he's just content with whatever he is able to accomplish and knowing very well at the same time that this in itself doesn't answer the bigger questions of life? It's a bit premature to say that he feels presented accurately by your description, don't you think?

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    And what if he's just content with whatever he is able to accomplish and knowing very well at the same time that this in itself doesn't answer the bigger questions of life? It's a bit premature to say that he feels presented accurately by your description, don't you think?

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    The root problem is so hidden I wouldn't expect anyone to see it.

  • http://jonathanbrink.com Jonathan Brink

    The root problem is so hidden I wouldn't expect anyone to see it.

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    I came across the following post today which explores a different topic but also revolves around MMA – in this case the issue of compatibility / incompatibility with Christian ethics and its use in the context of evangelism:

    http://pastormack.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/embr…

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    I came across the following post today which explores a different topic but also revolves around MMA – in this case the issue of compatibility / incompatibility with Christian ethics and its use in the context of evangelism:

    http://pastormack.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/embr…

  • http://openmindedconversations.blogspot.com/ jshmueller

    I came across the following post today which explores a different topic but also revolves around MMA – in this case the issue of compatibility / incompatibility with Christian ethics and its use in the context of evangelism:rnrnhttp://pastormack.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/embraced-by-a-macho-god-the-churchcagefighting-debate/

Business development and communications for growing businesses.