“Fundamentally, a society that asks questions and has the power to answer them is a healthier society than even one that accepts what it is told from a narrow range of experts and institutions.” Chris Anderson, The Long Tail.
Recently my twelve year old daughter has been asking me if she could watch the movie, Twilight. It’s been an interesting conversation for me as a parent between wanting to protect her from things she’s not ready for and giving her the freedom to begin discerning what is healthy for her. This tension of letting go has been good for me. She’s growing up and my desire is to prepare her not just how to choose what is healthy, but also how to overcome the consequences of when her choice is not.
Part of this dialog requires me being open to her asking me, “Why?” My initial urge is to run to the simple, “Because I said so.” But as she grows older, that response no longer works. My desire to protect her needs a well informed understanding of why. My initial reasoning was to protect her from a dialog around sexuality that the movie deals with, that in many ways she was not prepared for, and the concept of vampires. My wife and I are not afraid to have the dialog around sexuality with her. We simply want her to enjoy NOT having to think about these issues while she’s young.
The problem is further exacerbated by the fact that every single one of her friends has seen the movie and many have read the books. Several of my friends have said the movie downplays the sexuality as compared to the book and the vampire element is not gory. Through this process she has been consistently questioning my authority and reasoning on this process. And I have to say I’m actually glad she is.
The truth is I want my daughter to grow up questioning authority. Not for the sake of being anarchy or rebellion but because I want her to learn critical thinking. I want her to grow up knowing that she has permission to think outside of the box and ask questions. Because at some point in her life, questioning authority might just be the healthiest thing she could do.
As I ponder my own permission to question authority, which my parents gave me, I realize that it has brought me to a place in life that I would not trade for the world. This questioning is the very thing that keeps authority in check. Because if those in power have the right answer, the question never scares them. But if they don’t…
From what I can tell, Jesus was never afraid of the question. But he also wasn’t afraid to give a provocative answer too, to spin the question and make people think. Jesus was also not afraid to question authority. And this fearlessness is what attracts me to Him. It’s like he realized that people in authority would get it wrong, so don’t stop questioning.
Jesus himself was not even afraid of the question. His dying words were, “Father why have you forsaken me?” It’s like he knew His Father could handle the question. And this leads me to wonder if questioning authority is actually the greatest form of trust in authority. To ask is to reveal the relationship.
Which brings me back to my daughter. I want to see her questioning as a form of trust as much as a form of doubt. She’s just trying to be twelve years old, learning how to think for herself. And I like it.
