An Observation On Relationships

Posted by Jonathan Brink
September 1, 2008

Most of my healthy human relationships are those that have forgiving boundaries of interdependence and mutual respect for dignity.  In these relationships diversity and differences are celebrated in a way that leads to creativity and admiration for the best of that person.

Most of my unhealthy relationships are those that I seek to be validated from or to be fixed by.  In these relationships I am needy, demanding and sometimes a jerk.

I’m trying to live in the former.

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friends, humanity

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  • Amy
    Jonathan,
    "I’m trying to live in the former." Me too.

    Blessings,
    ~Amy :)
    http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
  • My blog www.leftofselfcenter.com was started because of those words being pressed upon me. That was three years ago and I am still trying to fully understand the message that was placed upon my heart. Yet when I think on the word relationship I have come to realize some things.

    1) Being in "true" relationship is a denying of one's selfish focus on themselves or as I call it, the "self center".

    2) When you talk about being needy, demanding, or jerk, often it is our 'self center" we are feeding. We are trying to meet our needs, wants, and desires in inappropriate ways. I can commiserate with you about being like that.

    3) Relationship (both with God and others) calls for us to submit ourselves to the needs of others.

    Now I know that this screams out "codependency!" in the modern day world. The submission I talk about is from the greek word "hupotassomoi" which is a voluntary placing oneself under the authority of others. It is an "othercenteredness" where we are thinking of the best interests of those we are in relationship with. This isn't always what the person we are in relationship with thinks is best for them.

    So I focus now on placing myself "Left of Self Center" in my relationships.

    Blessings,

    Brett
    http://www.leftofselfcenter.com
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