Resurrect Me

Posted by Jonathan Brink

July 9, 2008

This is the story of my ongoing resurrection. And sometimes I don’t like it.

“I do not believe Christians are called to believe in the resurrection of Christ. I believe we are called to be the resurrection of Christ. To be the site where resurrection takes place.”

This quote, from an interview with Peter Rollins, has been sitting in the back of my mind since I read it.

The truth is, I want to be done. I don’t want to be in process. I don’t want to be reminded tomorrow by a still, small voice of how I am participating in my own destruction. I want to be complete and whole.

Sometimes I “feel His pleasure” and I sit back reveling in his grace. I bask in the glory of love and the fruit of when I participate. I sit back and enjoy His hand in my life, shaping me, molding me, producing wonderful fruit that is so enjoyable and tasty. This is the life I was designed for. This is the life I want to lead.

And then I go and screw it all up. I bite right into the temptation to strike back at my neighbor or brother. I lose site of who I am. And these moments invite me to judge myself, to take His place on the judgment seat and crucify myself. Each moment that my brokenness rears its ugly head, I am invited to wonder if He still loves me. The voices inside my head shout very loudly, “How can you still love me?” Because grace is such an unnatural thing. Its stupid good.

And at that moment, the second temptation is to fake it. It’s just easier to put on a happy face and pretend that everything is fine, to hold onto the condemnation that destroys my heart. On the outside everything is fine. On the inside my heart feels like it is being crushed. And what is really funny, or sad depending on your point of view, is that everyone around me can see it. They can see the stale aftertaste of a life fermenting in its own crap. It’s just so obvious.

This is the moment of resurrection. This is the moment when my Father calls me to the road less traveled, to participate with him in my restoration. This is the moment of trust when I need, no want, to believe that grace really is the rule of life. And as I take the risk, He then he gently takes my hand and leads me to the mercy seat, reminding me that the cross is still reigning supreme. He reminds me that to harm others is to harm myself. To love others is to love myself. Which one do I choose to participate in?

And this is the thing. Resurrection is an ongoing process. It’s didn’t just happen but is happening in my life. I’m still a work in progress. It requires me to admit that I’m broken, that I don’t have it all together, that I still have work to do. I can’t hide. I can’t fake it. I have to trust that He establishes me, not my neighbor.

So resurrect me Father, so that I may reveal your glory.

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Jeromy

"[Grace is] stupid good."

A simply profound statement.

Rick

While I like how you work things out through your writing.

In the context of living something out is greater than simply stating it to be so, the Rollins quote is excellent. I love how you reflected the reality of that struggle in our moment-by-moment existence.

But some words were missing (and I cannot tell if intentional or not) from your final paragraph. "I’m still a work in progress. It requires me to admit that I’m broken, that I don’t have it all together, that I still have work to do. I can’t hide. I can’t fake it. I have to trust that He establishes me, not my neighbor."

While this is completely true, I didn't see you finding the impetus and basis for that progress being the finished work of justification (via the cross/resurrection) and that even in your "fermented crap", you are righteous to your Father.

So back to the Rollins quote. If that implies to you that there is not an element of some completion, then it falls short and your struggle is not properly motivated. If it does not imply that, then your struggle is reality; properly motivated and resulting in victory.

Jonathan Brink

Rick, I'll let the sum of my posts be an answer to your question.

Tracy Simmons

Jonathan, what a beautiful post. You are touching on something that has been brewing in my heart for a few weeks now, surrounding brokenness. Too long for a comment here, so I'll post about it perhaps tomorrow. Anyway, just wanted to say I hear you, I see your heart; I get it, I'm there too. Thanks for your open, honest heart.

blake

truly inspiring jonathan. this is the larger and more important meaning of the resurrection. that we live it and practice it in process as a response to grace.

i'm gonna have to listen to that interview. it's on my "to listen" list.