Losing Someone You Can’t Replace

Posted by Jonathan Brink

May 23, 2008

Have you ever lost someone that was really important to you? In light of the Steven Curtis Chapman tragedy, I was listening to the dialogs going on. Eugene Cho’s post struck me because he ask some good questions. I understand the outpouring. Steve has been deeply influential in my journey.

I have someone very important in my life who lost somebody very special, her mom. And the pain of this experience resides in the fact that this woman was an icon of love. She was that special. Everyone knew it.

But my concern for her now resides in the fact that she is still grieving, almost three years later. And the temptation of any event is to ask, “Why God?” I completely understand this. I think the emotion surrounding tragedy requires asking the question. It’s human to do so. But the real tragedy is when the original tragedy becomes the defining moment in our life, when we assume God has abandoned us. This was the original lie.

The real risk in tragedy is to still trust. It’s just easier to guard against the pain and walk away. I look at the last seven days of Jesus life and I see pothole after pothole. His accountant traded in their friendship for 40 pieces of silver. His best friends couldn’t stay awake for him in His most pressing moment. His best friend abandoned him. He was lashed with a whip forty times that likely mutilated his back. He was crowned with thorns. He was nail to the cross and crucified. And it would have been so easy to just walk away. Everything in his path was tragedy.

Unless…he trusted. “Into your hands,” he said. This is the real risk. Do we dare trust in light of tragedy. Do we take the risk to discover what is on the other side of tragedy. Even Jesus got to grieve. He had every reason not to stick with God’s plan.But it didn’t stop him from trusting. He took tragedy and traded it in for the restoration of the world.

What if our restoration is found on the other side of tragedy? What if our resurrection is found in the courage to trust? What if God is calling us to trust in the brights lights of tragedy so we can share in what Jesus found? And when we do, affliction becomes healing in ways we could never have discovered unless we cross the bridge of chaos.

Recently I found this video by Coldplay. I cant’ believe I never found this song before. But I love the lines.

“And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what your worth”

And

“the lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones.”

That’s healing.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=oRUkGDGbJpk]

I wish Chris Martin has written, “I will try to love you.” I don’t think we can fix people, but I think love can.

Share and Enjoy:

Courage, Jesus, grace, redemption

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Tracy Simmons

Jonathan,

This is one of the most powerful pieces you've ever written, at least for my heart.

I cried when I read it, in both gratitude and what I would almost say felt something like a holy fear, of how close I've come to letting tragedy and the sins of others against me to define the entire rest of my life....so close it scares me to think about it. I might easily have given up and given in and become a bitter person.

Only through His grace and the love of others, was I able to come through to "Though he slay me, yet will I trust him," and perhaps even harder, "Though fellow humans slay me, yet will I trust Jesus and still love and trust others."

Thanks for the power of your words.

jonathanbrink

Tracy, thank you for your kind words.

I cried a lot today for Steven and my friend and I think me. I have three children and I have a hard time even going there with God. I don't wish that on anyone. My heart needs to believe that God is doing something good and I want to see what it will be.

My hope is that out of this tragedy, Steve will be able to inspire us to trust and love through his music...as he's always done.

chad

Jonathan,

Well said brother!

I love secular music because so much of it is people screaming for relationship with God but they just can't make that connection. We end up making relationships with each other and that does not always go so well. The new song by George Michael is a good example. Here ar some lyrics:

Praying For Time

The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But well take our chances
Because God stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned his back and all gods children
Crept out the back door

And its hard to love,
Theres so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say its much too late
Well maybe we should all be
Praying for time

I saw him sing this on American Idol and he looked so sad. Things had not quite worked out the way he thought and it sounds like he turned his back on God. Man, I have known that feeling. Turn around and recieve Him

chad

One other thing, 'Fix You' has a 4 part harmony. A modern day song with the whole band singing is very cool.

jonathanbrink

Chad, the four part harmony is my favorite part of the song.

Daniel

Chad,
"I love secular music because so much of it is people screaming for relationship with God but they just can’t make that connection."

Do you ever drive around and look at people while they are driving? I was thinking on your comment today on my way from the bank and saw a girl that looked like she met Hopelessness and he decided to move in with her.

She was probably screaming for Hope and his close friends Grace and Mercy but but they weren't there because she doesn't really think they exist.

Where is the Body of Christ in this country? All I could do was pray that God would put someone before her that would not judge but listen and love her, introducing her to Hope, Grace, and Mercy.

BTW, I love listening to secular music for the same reason. Plus, a lot of christian music sucks...