Love In The Burbs
February 26, 2008 by Jonathan Brink
Much of the discussion around social justice is centered on reaching and loving the poor. Of all the mandates in Scripture, the poor are the front and center in the law and in the commands of Jesus. I get that. I have had many conversations around this with friends and family. And our first response is typically the idea of participating in some organization that feeds the homeless, or serve at a soup kitchen. These established ministries are needed, wanted, and serve to transform my own heart as much as they reach those who are homeless. And when we think of the poor, the first thing that typically, but not always, comes to mind is the idea of financial poverty. But is poverty deeper than that?
I live in the burbs. I live in a upper, middle class community in the suburbs of Sacramento. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is where my Father has me at the moment. I’ve contemplated leaving many times but sensed the call to stay. My home is fairly new and it is common to see Hummers, BMWs, and Mercedes passing my house. And the temptation is to pass by these people and miss a different type of poverty, one that I think leaves as many scars on the soul as anything a homeless person could experience. This is the poverty of that comes from gaining the whole world but losing our soul.
In the burbs, we find people who have gained the whole world, or at least the American version of it. We’ve arrived, so they say, but found that somehow, someway, they raised the bar on us. We have the house, the minvan, the perfect kids, the dog and the vacation to Hawaii in the summer, but approval is now the next rung up. Love moved just beyond our grasp. And once we’ve attained each rung, we find that the promise leaves us more empty than we can imagine. We’re not happy. We’re bored. Now we know that we aren’t satisfied and there’s nothing left to do but try to continue up the ladder. Stuff can’t answer the questions of the soul. We try…but eventually find out it doesn’t work.
The empty faces line up at my daughters school hoping that they’ve arrived correctly, driven correctly and coifed correctly. The crowd provides a scant approval, leaving us to wonder what the hell we did wrong. We can’t abandon it because its comfortable. It’s nice. And the wallpaper on our prison cell is a nice floral print we got at Home Depot.
I use to be in this situation. For ten years I chased the American dream and some would say attained it. I was successful, lived in a killer house in a killer neighborhood that people talked about. I was financially wealthy and…broken inside. What surprised me about wealth is that it didn’t answer one fundamental question. Am I loved? Some of the happiest people I’ve met are poor. And some of the saddest people I’ve met are incredibly wealthy.
And this brings me to my real point. It’s actually quite easy to go down and serve the homeless or at a soup kitchen. We can arrive with our lattes and leave when we want to. We’re in control and can look like a hero. But loving our neighbor next door, when every time he looks at us with an angry stare, is another matter. Our neighbor isn’t likely to leave tomorrow, meaning we have to love over a long period of time. Our flaws are likely to show and then we’re no longer the hero. We’re simply human called to love. And the question isn’t which is better. The question is, where God is calling us to? And what if God is calling us right back to the space we find ourselves in? What if God is calling us to address the poor right next door?
Great post!!! True, so very true. How quickly we forget that the most insidious form of poverty is the poverty of wealth, that CAN rupture one’s soul. Thanks for pointing out that the mission field extends beyond the buildings of the inner city. Keep it up my friend
very true indeed. I think maybe the reason though that many are focusing on the poor is because so many have lived in mindless existence in the burbs for so long - having a good ol time with the neighbors, living in comfort and ease, oblivious to the poor. But you’re right, loving our (geographical) neighbor should not go ignored. I would disagree however with your statement that loving the poor is easy. Maybe serving at the soup kitchen is relatively easy comparatively, but truly loving the poor is not. If it were, I imagine we’d have many fewer poor
Makeesha, I get what you are saying and completely agree with you.
Jonathan,
I think about this quite a bit. Among many of my friends, there is the mentality that we are “called ” to the up-and-outers.
As you said in your post, I think it is really important that we are aware of the spiritual needs of those we live among. Ministry to the poor is something that is done from a distance.
I think that in addition to ministry in the suburbs, we have to become an example of an alternative lifestyle that rejects the values of competition, comparison, and upward mobility.
I also believe that we have to find ways to develop more diversity in our circles of friendship that include the poor and marginalized, realizing that the relationship should not always be a one-way relationship of charity.
These are just things I am trying to work out in my own life, realizing a great need for a shift in my thinking about the poor.
However, I think that developing real relationships with the poor and marginalized can also be a witness and inspiration to our up-and-out friends.
Grace, you said, “the relationship should not always be a one-way relationship of charity.”
That is brilliant and so true. I have found that the people I serve can offer me more in return than I have ever imagined. And it has nothing to do with money or obligation. By taking part in their restoration, they are taking part in mine.
very well said grace, the intentional expansion of our relationship network to include those who would naturally not easily “fall in” is so important to a vibrant missional life
Man, thanks for this post. I keep thinking about this sort of thing a lot, and have had fits and starts of “success” with it. (”Success”, meaning, I actually am faithful with acting on this on occasion…
Anyway, thank you.
Brant, I think we’re all trying to figure this one out. Much love brother.
There needs to be a balance of the two, the soup kitchen and the guy next door who ALWAYS mows his lawn at 7am on saturday morning, IMHO
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