My Friend “Blank” The Homosexual
Recently an unnamed event occurred that compelled me me to write a response to the so called Christian “agenda” on homosexuality. For far too long the typical position has been one of shame and disgust towards those who call themselves homosexual. But as I sat here writing I began to really ask myself what really should be our response? And then I was reminded of an experience with my friend “Blank.”
About ten years ago I was the Managing Director of a marketing and design firm in Silicon Valley. We had many significant accounts with some of the largest names in technology. One of the accounts was with my friend “blank”. “Blank” was a genuinely nice person and always was very professional. As a way of saying thank you for picking our firm it was our policy to take the client out to a nice lunch.
During lunch, my business partner and I sat across the table from “Blank” and spent the first ten minutes making small talk with him. Somehow the conversational turned to dating and marriage (he wore no ring) and he asked us, “How Christian are you?”
My heart dropped and I asked, “Why?” It seemed almost like a strange precursor question and I had not idea where he was going with it, not yet connecting to its meaning.
He said, “Because I’ve chosen to live an alternative lifestyle.” I don’t really remember much more of the lunch other than it was cordial and there was no other talk about it.
But when two days later I got back from lunch at my office and the mail arrived. In it was a letter from “Blank”. His second line read, “I will completely understand if you do not want me to be your client anymore.” His response honestly floored me. Why would he assume we wouldn’t want to work with him? And then it hit me. I wasn’t the first Christian that he had encountered in his life. In fact when I began to think about it, I realized that his response was not because of something I had said, but because of something the church had said. To the church, “Blank” was a vial, disgusting human piece of trash. In fact I would later find out he had been called much worse. And because of this he had made the broad assumption (rightly so from experience) that I would do the same. Christian after Christian had shamed him.
I called “Blank” and told him that it had never occurred to us that we should drop him for his lifestyle or sexuality. In fact our first responsibility was to love him and show him dignity regardless of his choices. The phone was silent for a good thirty seconds and then I realized he was crying. He thanked me for my words and we ended the phone call.
And I think about that phone call often. What is my response to anyone who is “you fill in the blank”. I want it to be love. And in that moment, I didn’t compromise my beliefs. In fact I strengthened them. He left our encounter with a reflection of my Father. But In a small way our response had given him a little bit of his dignity back. “Blank” had become Dave, a person. He ended up becoming a very good friend as well as a client.
So I ask, why is it so hard for the church to first show love. What is it so afraid of?
Can’t we be more restorative through love than condemnation? Didn’t Jesus show that through the adulterous woman? Aren’t homosexuals first humans?
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Jeromy
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Nicole
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Elle
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Peggy
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Graham
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Adam
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jonathanbrink
